The Heart of Relationship: A Weekend of Gestalt Inquiry for Couples and Friends

Some of the closest relationships in our lives run on habit, and the habits that once protected us can quietly create distance. This workshop at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA invites two people with a shared history to slow down, turn toward each other, and practice a different way of being together, one grounded in compassion, respect, and a love of what is true.

Johanna and Perry Holloman, intimate partners and friends for over thirty years, lead The Heart of Relationship: A Weekend of Gestalt Inquiry for Couples and Friends. They share the tools and practices they have developed to nurture their own connection, centered on Gestalt Inquiry, an easy-to-learn practice that offers a safe context for exploring the most meaningful and sensitive parts of a relationship.

This is a workshop for any two people who have a history and wish for a better future together. Couples of all genders and sexual orientations are welcome, as are friends, married or divorced spouses, parent and child, siblings, and others. Whether you arrive as partners or as lifelong friends, you leave with practices you can carry home.

What to Expect

The weekend is practical and experiential rather than purely theoretical. Together with the Hollomans, you learn to discover and safely express what is true for you, individually and as a pair, and in doing so deepen your heart's capacity for intimacy and connection.

Among the practices and resources you will work with:

- Embodied presence: movement, breath, meditation, and awareness to cultivate a palpable sense of presence, the foundation on which a relationship can flourish.
- The Art of Conscious Communication: learning to care as much about understanding the other person as you care about being heard and understood yourself.
- Attuned expression: ways to voice needs, feelings, and appreciations that deepen relational trust.
- Distancing behaviors: recognizing the often unconscious ways we defend against vulnerability and contact.
- Co-regulation: structured exercises, shaped by compassion and respect, in which presence-based relating arises naturally.

The Hollomans see Gestalt Inquiry as a practice that can become a continuing part of any successful long-term relationship, so the aim is not a single weekend of insight but tools that live on in everyday life.

Venue & Logistics

The workshop takes place in person at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, a Saturday-anchored weekend within a Friday-to-Sunday program. Registration options include a workshop with an on-site stay, a workshop with an off-site stay, and an individual day pass. Esalen also offers a scholarship application for those who need support. The workshop includes $50 in additional faculty tuition.

Travel to Big Sur can be affected by conditions on Highway 1, and Esalen has posted travel advisories about road closures and convoy schedules. Please review the current advisory on Esalen's website before planning your journey.